Finding The Blind Spots

A new way to see

Projection is something we all do. What I want to share here is this….

It is much easier to see ourselves in others. This is because we all have blind spots. Parts of our personalities that we barely perceive. I have found so many of my own blind spots using this technique.

1. Look for this…people who really tick you off , they just manage to find ways to bug you. Or people you worry about. (I like to remember as often as I can that these people are my friends, they help me become aware.)

2. When you’ve found your ‘friend’ and you are feeling…get away to a quiet place, someplace where you won’t be disturbed. Take a pen and pad with you.

3. Sit and feel for a few minutes, 2 or 3. Explore your body, see how it feels all over. Bring your attention to the emotion you are having as a result of another person.

4. Take your pen and paper and write down what the person does that bugs you…see how that feels, is it right on the button? Look again and get even more precise about exactly what they do that bugs you or makes you worry.

5. When you have it…when you are clear about what it is….ask yourself this question – How Do I Do That? Most of the time I can see it immediately. Now you are seeing a blind spot (thanks to your friend). And you can make a new decision…and change yourself. If I can’t see it right away I go back to step 4.

As I work my way through my own blind spots my grown children have really helped. When I find myself worrying about them I use these steps to get very clear about exactly what I’m worrying about.

Then I ask myself this question – How am I worrying about this in myself?

At one time my grown son, Clifton, was putting off dental work and I was worrying about it. (Thinking of all the bad, over and over.) When I clarified the issue to exactly what was bothering me it was this…not moving forward and getting his teeth fixed.

I asked myself “How am I not moving forward in my life? It became clear to me that there were a couple of areas in my life where I wasn’t taking care of my own business. Right then, when I could see clearly, I decided to take care of these issues immediately. And I did.

The really cool thing about this is after I locate the source of the emotion…the sensitivity I was having or the emotion about it goes away and I can go on minding my own business. It is amazing how willing and ready your shadow is to answer questions…we just have to ask and listen.

This technique applies to parents still here or not, coworkers, neighbors, spouses, family members and friends, even pets. I used to worry about our pets, were they happy, were they getting proper nutrition, were they bored?

I have found that many issues have roots, that’s ok, but don’t be surprised when they come up over and over each time revealing more blind spots. Like my father, almost everything about him reveals blind spots. I was the first child and I learned his ways, but after I grew older I didn’t like him or his ways. All the ways he taught me were in my blind spot because I sure didn’t want to be like him…but I was.

My mother is a close second to him. Mom and Dad have both been gone a long time so when I needed to find those blind spots a friend would show up in the form of an inlaw or boss or spiritual leader. My projections on these people of ‘authority’ helped me find lost parts or blind spots.

I hope this helps others to come to more awareness…it may just be the greatest tool I have used for awareness.

Much love to all,


  1. jim atwell says

    See yourself in another yourself.

  2. that’s right Jim…that’s so yes!

  3. Anne,
    You’ve described well the phenomenon of blind spots and projection. Bravo! I love how you shared incidents from your own life. Thanks for sharing! I like to walk while exploring my blind spots.

    In joy,

  4. Thank you Regina, good to hear of your success with finding your own blind spots! Blessings, Anne

  5. So in love with you and each entry confirms it!
    Renee´s last blog post ..Haiku Expressions

  6. Isn’t this a wonderful way to grow? I have been using this for years. When we realize that everything in our life, including other people, is there for our growth, we can look at things in new ways. Love you back my sweet friend, Renee. xo

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