The Beautiful Masculine

Beautiful MasculineYesterday when I was sitting and feeling fear and asking my fearful part to come forward and be integrated.  I heard and saw something new.  I saw a youthful (I didn’t say young) man, very attractive and powerful looking.  And I heard and wrote these words…”Beautiful Masculine.”

And I began to remember how during my life I have never allowed this part to come to me.  Here’s how I saw it yesterday.  My father, even though he was a very handsome man when he was young was 45 when I was born.  By the time I can remember he was old looking and overweight and sloppy.  He was also loud and obnoxious and embarrassing.  Not beautiful masculine to me.  As I grew up and started to date I would shy away from the really good looking guys.  I never knew why, but I did and I knew it.  I did not select my husbands because of physical beauty.   (funny how at the time of this awareness, now, my husband is very handsome)…and I have never really allowed myself to enjoy my own beauty.

I have never seen this before, this pattern.

Since this awareness yesterday I have been very angry, this means previously suppressed energy is moving through me.  And I am seeing things with such clarity like never before.  And now there is a part of me that is totally determined to do what makes the most sense to me and feels the best to me, no matter what anybody else thinks.  It feels like a standing up of sorts, powerful knowing.

I can see this quality in men more than women.  For some men this part is out of balance and women don’t usually have this part developed because we are not allowed to in this environment.  So we end up hating men for it.

Now that I am allowing and valuing this powerful masculine quality of knowing who I am and doing what I want to and understanding it’s value I can see that I have been missing this part at this depth my whole life.

My beautiful masculine part is now here as never before.  Thank you life for restoring that which was taken away.  I need all my parts to be whole.  I have no idea what new vistas the integration of this ‘beautiful masculine’ will bring….but I look forward to the enhanced awareness that always comes as a result of allowing formerly lost parts to come forward.

I share my experience with the hope that another or others will find value for their personal journey(s).

Love, Anne

 

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